“The more you hold on to me, the more you let yourself drown in the dark” – Guilt.
Do you feel like holding on to your heart as it is weighed down throughout the day? Do you feel like you did nothing for the whole day but worry while lying on your bed? Do you feel less productive? Do you experience lower confidence?
Let’s explore some reasons behind the heaviness, worry, low productivity, and lack of confidence.
Hey all, the first thing I want to do is thank you for reading this article. Many people won’t just click a link nowadays. So, this is Jagadeesh, Author of the fantasy thriller series “Secrets Of Centaurus”. I hear you all say, ‘Why are you promoting your book here?’. But there is a reason behind that. Just stick with me till the end.
Why is Guilt so Powerful?
What, you ask? Does guilt have more superpowers than all our other feelings? I’m not discussing all the feelings in this article. (Some say there are around 25 categories, and others say there are only 12 categories of basic feelings).
But the only feeling that stops you from growing is GUILT.
I want to share my own story here. Don’t worry – It’s not such a boring story.
I started writing my first book in August 2022, and it took almost six months to complete – the end of January 2023. Here’s the interesting thing you need to read.
Most days, I did nothing. Yes. You read that right.
So what did I do? I’ve spent most of the days simply scrolling on Instagram reels, watching movies or series, or simply eating and sleeping. What? All the days?
Actually no. I worked for a medical shop for almost four months. (So, being less judgemental would be great),
But when I went to sleep at night, I felt shame, thinking, “Shit, I’ve done nothing today!”.
What kind of a human being are you? Your parents didn’t give birth to this useless version of you.
After yelling at myself, I eventually went back to sleep peacefully.
When the next day came around, I would feel the same again. I did nothing yesterday. Shame on me.
And again, the human being and the ‘useless version’ thing would strike my brain.
Then comes the guilt and “doing nothing” in the present day and thinking about how you did “nothing” on the previous day. And days rolled on like this. Spent all day watching movies, scrolling on the reels with the same guilt.
I was more focused on escaping the guilt and distracting myself by doing useless things – never useful ones.
At the end of the day, I felt the same guilt but with more heaviness.
One day I woke up, not from the nightmare, but from the daymare or daydream.
I decided to not do anything useless again.
And I started to write my story day and night and successfully completed it.
Face your guilt
I’m not an expert in giving motivation or solving one’s personal issues. In fact, no one will come to save you.
It would help if you cared for your daily routine and emotions too. Most importantly, you have to take care of your guilt.
Yes. It’s like building a solid relationship with your guilt and having an honest conversation between you.
There is ‘n’ number of guilts that occur in your lifetime. And I’m sure you can strike a fair deal with them all.
Guilt will come occasionally, but you should know how to deal with it. Try and show your will against your guilt.
For example, you are going to a restaurant with your friends. All of them are planning to order the same dish, but you want to try a new one. But you said nothing to them and simply ate what they ordered.
What will happen after that?
Someone will pay the bill and go to their residence and sleep peacefully. But you, laying on the bed looking at the ceiling, your guilt would come out and say, “you should’ve ordered what you wanted”.
I would like to add another example here.
You wanted to write a love letter for your crush or wife. But you don’t write when you have the chance.
Now just imagine that they are not with you right now. What will happen? Of course, the guilt will kill you every day and night, and you start to hate yourself for not writing a letter for who you love.
So, go and write a letter now.
Guilt will come in all the way; feeling guilt is part of life, but hopefully, not carrying it throughout life.
As I’ve mentioned in the first example, there are slight pangs of guilt, and we can overcome that easily.
But the guilt I’ve mentioned in the second example will never fade.
What you need to do
The ultimate solution for overcoming any emotions is forgiving yourself.
You have to forgive yourself, sware that you’ll never do that again, and become strong again.
I forgave myself for being useless for days and started accepting that.
There is a TV show called ‘Lucifer’. In that show, the hero starts to blame himself for everything that happens around him.
He had constructed tons of guilt and blame inside and turned into a demon. Like a real demon, the whole human body and face started to turn into muscle-less bones, and he hated himself more than ever.
But his partner supported him and asked him to not blame himself for what he couldn’t control.
While he starts to forgive himself and accept that he should not blame for everything, he returns to being a human again.
And I just realised that I learned the most important thing by watching that show – forgiving yourself.
Learn to forgive, learn to live. Peacefully ever after.
Jagadeesh was born and raised in India. He is now residing in Tamil Nadu and developing himself as a thoughtful writer. He is the Author of the ‘Secrets Of Centaurus’ book series and he holds a degree in Bachelor of Psychology.