Unlocking the Secrets to Building Lasting and Fulfilling Relationships

Presented by BetterHelp

Building lasting and fulfilling relationships is an art form. There are certain skills you can cultivate to help your relationship succeed. What are the vital components of healthy relationships and how can you improve the ones in your life? Learn how to assess your current relationships. Then prioritize desirable qualities like great communication. 

Practice makes perfect, so they say. 

Healthy Relationships Are Good For Us 

Healthy relationships can have a profound impact on our lives. The American Psychological Association (APA) emphasizes the beneficial effects on our well-being and mental health. Nurturing connections can contribute to a fulfilling and satisfying life.

Many people enjoy the support they feel when they have a partner by their side. It can feel good to know there is someone who appreciates you. Many people also find emotional intimacy satisfying. We can even experience personal growth through our connections with others.

A healthy relationship can bring a richness to life.

Identifying Healthy Relationships

Planned Parenthood identifies the characteristics of a healthy relationship to help you understand what you’re looking for. Because emotions run high and can be intense, it’s easy for some to get swept away while dating. It can be helpful to have a map or set of guidelines to work from.  

It’s valuable to take time to reflect on your feelings about your relationship. These questions may help you in that process.

• Is your partner attentive to and respectful of your ideas?
• Does your partner allow you the space to spend time with friends and family?
• Do you both enjoy spending time together?
• Do you feel at ease expressing things that upset you?
• Do you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and emotions?
• Can you openly communicate your sexual preferences and concerns with your partner?
• Does your partner make an effort to connect with your friends and family?
• Is your partner genuinely proud of your accomplishments and successes?
• Does your partner show respect for the differences between you?

If you can answer yes to most of these questions, your relationship could be healthy. It’s a positive indication that you feel good. If you answer no to two or more of the questions, it could be time to consider some changes.

If you are thinking about strengthening your relationship, it may be wise to start with self-reflection.

Tending To Your Soil: Qualities That Foster Strong Relationships 

When you’re planting a garden, hoping for a beautiful outcome, you tend to the soil. Relationships are similar. Most of us have heard that happy relationships begin with self-care and this is like tending to the garden soil.

Healthy people generally form healthier relationships. Therefore, working to cultivate personal qualities that you appreciate can help you align with the right partner. Engaging in regular self-reflection can help you nourish the foundation of your partnership.

The University of Colorado’s Health and Wellness blog explores several qualities that foster healthy relationships. 

Communication

Open communication is a common thread in most healthy relationships. It can foster understanding, build empathy, and increase compassion.   If expressing true feelings becomes challenging, it might be time to work on building trust. 

Emotional withholding can stem from uncertainties about your partner’s potential reactions. To ease this concern, partners may collaboratively explore effective communication strategies.

Unhealthy communication may manifest when one partner seeks to influence the other’s thoughts or behaviors. Establishing boundaries may be helpful in such situations. Expressing your needs and setting limits are examples of healthy boundary-setting. 

Listening

Feeling heard and understood is important to most people. You may feel your best when you’re comfortable addressing issues. Most people also value expressing themselves, and they enjoy actively listening as well as feeling understood. 

Ignoring or disrespecting a person’s feelings or needs can jeopardize the relationship. Compromise and ongoing communication can help create respect and openness. 

Conflict Resolution

Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship.  However, how couples navigate and resolve conflicts can make an impact. Healthy conflict resolution involves respectful dialogue. It also usually illustrates a willingness to understand each other. 

If disagreements escalate into frequent fights, new strategies may be necessary. Using “I” statements and practicing assertive communication can contribute to healthier discussions. 

Intimacy

In a healthy relationship, there is space for mutual intimacy. Open communication about emotional and physical desires can create close connections. Partners who can discuss aspects of intimacy, including desires, boundaries, and preferences, may enjoy better relationships.

Trust

Healthy relationships thrive when both people trust each other. In trusting relationships, other people meet certain needs outside the couple. Friends, mentors, and family all create the social network most people need to feel their best.

When jealousy or frequent accusations arise in relationships, it can isolate one or both partners. 

Conversation And Communication Is Crucial

Communication can help partners navigate challenging situations together. But, knowing how to talk to each other has other benefits too. Conversation skills can foster bonding between you and your partner. They also help the two of you engage even when there is nothing to do.

When you are alone together, conversation can be a pleasant way to connect and pass the time. Conversation isn’t always about problem-solving.

How Positivity & Enthusiasm Make An Impact 

Another relationship skill worth highlighting is showing positivity and enthusiasm. According to the APA, people with enthusiastic partners often report high relationship satisfaction. The cited study refers to this type of partner as a ‘cheerleader partner.’ 

The positive influence of enthusiasm and support can significantly contribute to the overall health of a relationship. This is logical, as most people prefer spending time with upbeat personalities. Showing enthusiasm for your partner’s endeavors also shows you care.

Tips For Building And Maintaining Healthy Relationships 

There’s more to great relationships than logical understanding. How can you put your knowledge into practice?

The Mental Health Foundation offers practical tips for building and sustaining healthy relationships. Their advice emphasizes the importance of communication, trust, and mutual support. 

These insights guide us to some actionable steps to enhance the quality of our connections.

• Self Reflect
• Embrace Boundaries
• Talk and Listen Actively
• Practice Trust

Each of these activities is its own journey. If you aren’t sure where to begin in this type of personal growth or you’re concerned about any aspects of your relationship, you can ask for help. There are many options available to you from in-person to online psychotherapy. 

Of course, therapy is a relationship in itself. As you explore things about yourself with your therapist, you may feel defensive. It’s natural for defense mechanisms to arise during therapy. The right therapist will help guide you through these experiences.

How To Manage Stress In A Healthy Way Without Damaging Your Relationship 

Now we understand a bit more about how to identify and nurture relationships. What happens when stress enters the equation? Relationships not only occasionally create stress, they’re also subject to external pressure.

Whether the stress relates to the relationship or not, it can affect it. Learning how to appropriately cope can be valuable.

So, healthily managing your stress can be an important part of maintaining strong relationships. 

The NHS provides guidance on navigating life’s challenges without causing harm to your relationship. Effective stress management contributes to a resilient and harmonious partnership: here are some things you can do. 

• Be Open And Honest
• Embrace Boundaries
• Talk to A Therapist Or Someone You Trust
• Practice Self Care
• Try To Manage Conflict Calmly and Effectively

Not only will these strategies often result in better relationships, but they may help you feel better about your personal stress management too.

You Can Enjoy Better Relationships

The secrets to building lasting and fulfilling relationships aren’t secrets after all. With a little focus and attention, we can all learn to improve our connections. Perfection isn’t necessary. It’s often enough to show that you care.

We can grow together when we understand the core elements of healthy connections and actively nurture them. 

By Melissa L. Walker, Guest Post Writer for BetterHelp.com