How to Tell Her You Love Her without Saying Much (communicate better in a relationship)
“You never listen to me.”
“Do you care about me?”
“You never have time for me.”
“Why don’t you respect me?”
Has your partner ever said these words to you in your relationship? If Yes, then continue reading. If No, still continue reading. You might hear these questions one day. And if you do not have a partner, it still helps to be prepared.
Many men have problems showing love and affection to their partners. Most of the time it’s nothing to do with their emotions during the relationship. Essentially, men don’t have the innate ability to show their emotions through words. Well, mostly. Jump to the “quick tips” section.
Table of contents
Why do I (Man) struggle to communicate with my Partner Emotionally?
For thousands of years, men were tasked to achieve success through physical acts rather than literary and conversational acts.
Can you remember the most famous men you know and what they did? Anthropologically, women have chosen men based on their skills to provide a safe and stable environment for them in order to reproduce. They have chosen men for their physical strength and status for better offspring and security.
It has made men perform actions that established them as physically strong, financially stable and socially respectable members of society. They achieved this by emphasizing physical acts rather than showing their emotions.
Hence, men have evolved to think that doing physical acts gives them a better chance of success with women than verbal acts.
Modern women look for more in men than just stability and security.
Attention, Understanding, Care and Respect – Four essential, basic expectations women have of men, along with physical needs.
These are often ignored, misunderstood or forgotten by men. Every Woman wants to feel Special. She wants you to appreciate her in every possible way. In order to do that, you need to start by paying attention to what she is saying.
If a woman is telling you her experiences, daily life challenges, her feelings about you or the rest of the world, or simply gossiping, it means she considers you a person in whom she can confide. It’s a sign of trust she has in you because women, like men, don’t want to be made fun of for their feelings, thoughts and emotions.
So, when she talks, Pay Attention. From here, we proceed to the next stage…
When you pay attention to what a woman is saying or thinking, her opinions and what she likes to talk about, you form a psychological profile of her. The more data you have (through attentive conversation), the better the psychological profile.
It will help you understand their perception of the world and their frame of reference. It allows you to understand their point of view. You begin to see aspects of the world from their eyes. It allows you to predict her topics of interest. You begin to align your frame of reference according to her to see the world in similar ways.
The result is a woman feels that you actually care about what she believes in. It will also help you in knowing what she expects from you and how you can show care for her.
Showing her you care can involve action and therefore feels more ‘natural’ to a guy.
Things like assisting with her logistical or administrative tasks can act as a caring gesture so she can spend time on herself.
Gestures such as taking her for a checkup or helping out with a friend or family member really demonstrate your care.
Activities like massage or body treatments are thoughtful ways to show you value her and her health.
Actually, there are so many options in this category that it will be fun to try and show your care through various mutual and individual activities.
Care is also listening to her concerns and offering an ear, and not always a solution.
Quick Tips to Communicate Better in a relationship with woman
Apart from what I mentioned above, here’s few things that you should keep in mind to communicate effectively in relationships:
- Be Honest. Set some time aside to share your thoughts with each other.
- Listen to what she thinks and take your time to convey what you want
- Ask each other open-ended questions
- Don’t hide your feelings and insecurities if you are into a serious relationship.
- Also, women do like if men open up emotionally. It makes her feel that the guy finds her special and values her.
It’s not easy navigating modern relationships. The goal posts change all the time. Expectations change. Clear communication is vital, but many guys are conditioned to respond in a particular way. With a little thought, and some education, you can communicate better in a relationship. If you are interested in introspecting yourself more, you can check out our free helpful resources.
Harsh is the founder of menPsyche. He enjoys using his extensive research and writing skills to communicate ideas and concepts, with the aim to improve people’s lives.
Harsh trained as a Communication Engineer and published a MSc (Research) thesis, as well as worked in a variety of marketing and consultancy roles.