“Do you see that girl sitting there?”
“She looks pretty. I think I am going to go over and talk to her!”
Do you think it is a good idea? Do you think she wants to talk?
What if she says no? What if she is just here to have a good time with her friends? Do you want to get shot down if that is the case?
Believe me, my friend, when I say women do not want to be approached at a bar by some guy with a cheesy pick-up line. They might be there to blow off steam and share a drink or two with their friends. And there you are, hanging out with your guys looking to get her attention.
You spot that girl sitting two tables away from you. She is having a drink, laughing, and enjoying herself with her friends and feels this pull towards her. And in three, two, one, voila, without even thinking, you are standing next to her, probably using the cheesiest line you know in the hope this will be your meet-cute story.
Time for a Reality Check
Unfortunately, she will probably turn you down. And after taking exactly 3 seconds to think how you would be perfect for her, that answer, which you did not anticipate, will hurt your ego. In those 3 seconds, you came up with all the reasons how you would be perfect for her but didn’t take 1 second to think about why you are not.
So, now you are back at your table, hurt, trying to justify how that girl is not the right one for you and how you can do much better.
But that is just your ego talking. So get off your high horse. The pretty girl had already worked it all out when you walked toward her.
There is a system that she has designed for her potential partner that sets a very high benchmark. No matter how good a pick-up line you use, you would not make the cut.
Now let’s say she falls for your not-so-charming demeanor, and you end up sharing a drink, laughing a little, sharing a light conversation.
Then what? Do you think that small conversation you share with her will have any significance? I think a date where you can share a meal, your experiences, and talk about things that matter would be better than approaching her at a bar using a pick-up line?
The small talk will tell you nothing about her, and once you leave, she will laugh about it with her friends. Save yourself the humiliation. That girl you want to talk to probably has had too many similar incidents to fall into yet another one.
So next time you think about picking up a girl at a bar, think twice and let that urge you have to talk to her pass, because it is not something either of you wants.
High Barstool, Small YOU
Don’t even get me started on the competition; the guys in these bars are the least of my worries.
So, say that the connection you think you might have with her is nothing but you floating around her orbit before crashing face down. Save yourself that humiliation, move ahead and call it a night. Let the girl enjoy this night and all the other nights she plans on spending at this bar instead of you reaching out and failing every time.
Move along and let her have that drink in peace.
Editor – Thanks Devanshu for this light-hearted creative piece!
Harsh is the founder of menPsyche. He enjoys using his extensive research and writing skills to communicate ideas and concepts, with the aim to improve people’s lives.
Harsh trained as a Communication Engineer and published a MSc (Research) thesis, as well as worked in a variety of marketing and consultancy roles.
