Relationships – Why the Gender Wars?

I had an interesting conversation the other day. A friend said, “Oh, that’s what ALL women do!” I knew he was frustrated at one particular person, who happened to be a woman. But I didn’t let it go. I asked him if his sister was also like that. 

He said, “You know what I mean!” Yes, I did know what he meant. He was blaming one issue with one person on a whole group. I’ve done it before. It’s easy to do. 

Too Many Generalizations

Isn’t it time to stop the generalizations on all sides? It might feel good when you think you are fighting a cause on behalf of an entire tribe. But what can be some possible ramifications for thinking this way?

Unless an entire group of women has upset you, there might be a misdirection of anger. It takes courage to call yourself out. Even if you think a ‘trend’ in society is ‘against men’, do you know the details in each case? Sometimes we guys can be wrong; sometimes, we deny our part. And sometimes, we suffer great injustice.

Women Are on Our Side

As I pointed out to my friend, many women were working on his issue on his behalf. A woman dropped work at my friend’s home from his office that day.

In the long run, it does not suit you to become angry at the wrong ‘enemy.’ We can miss all the good that is happening around us. And we can send our real fight or cause off in the wrong direction. It ultimately hurts us anyway. “All women” are not even hearing us scream about them most of the time. It seems like just a turn of phrase “All women are like that” or “all women” anything.

But in general, all women haven’t done anything against ‘us.’ Many women are on our side with men’s causes, and many women have probably helped us enormously throughout our lives.

What it means to be a Strong Man

What we are currently facing then is weak people. Men, women, anyone, who blames others (gets involved in gender wars), don’t take responsibility. They manipulate. These are not the characteristics of one gender – they are individuals. So it’s not so much gender as an individual.

Strong men are those who stand up for all the people in their lives. Real man in the relationship is not against women – he is against weak people. Strong men don’t have muscles- they have integrity. They don’t believe in misogyny. It takes a man of strong character to go against society if society doesn’t make sense to him. So a modern guy can distinguish himself from the pack by being fair and honest and lifting himself high enough above these gender wars.

He can be a leader by treating everyone the same and not falling for the headlines. That’s a strong man. And along with other strong people, this is what the world needs now.

Where do We go from Here?

Just because a woman’s group is saying “all men” does not mean we can start saying “all women.”  They are equally flawed. Is it men that women are angry at, or is it patriarchal systems? Everyone needs to look at their behavior in these times where it’s easy to leave a brain spew on a social media site. We risk losing out on a better life and immense support when we throw everyone into the same bucket.

I am trying to work on this myself. I am okay at keeping issues on track concerning who they are about (sometimes the ‘issue’ is ourselves anyway). But I remain watchful for being sucked into a Gender War that doesn’t exist, except online or in our minds. The women I know support men in general. The men I know are very appreciative of the women in their lives. Let’s work together against the individuals or institutions who actually wrong us.