Humans are a competitive species. They compete for survival and status at every level.
Even though we cooperate to sustain ourselves, competition is getting highly intense these days. So what does it mean to be a “successful” man in modern times?
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“Success” As Per History
From kings to prophets, leaders to scientists and artists, all have competed to be the best. The world cheers the ones who “succeed” or survives in this competition and remembers them in history. Funny, it is still called HIS-tory.
People often say it’s sexist, but to look at it from another perspective, it’s the sorry state of men’s competition against each other, to beat the others and to achieve victory over others. Men have been set against each other for the so-called greater good of family, society, state and the world. Men have been raised as protectors and achievers.
Some would castigate men for their pursuit to strive to be the “best”. Men fight in every sphere, and the word “fight” is the key. From Gladiators to Soldiers, they have been pitted against each other to win at any cost. And to win what? For so-called success, in terms of money, status, assets and abstract notions like glory, respect and honor.
Much of this has changed in recent decades. Men have evolved to now pursue their own definition of success in life. Modern men have a different take on what success means in their lives.
Changes In The Modern Man
It’s not uncommon for modern men to consider abilities such as child-rearing, cooking, cleaning and household work as essential attributes to possess.
And modern men are getting in touch with their emotions, which were previously socially denied. Even though there is pushback on this, calling them ‘weak’ men, often modern men feel better for openly expressing feelings. Modern men are coming closer to their feminine traits, which are up for discussion in this more enlightened era.
Hence, with these new desirable characteristics and traits, the definition of success in life is changing for modern men. Today men are more attuned to their wants and needs rather than the expectations and demands of society. They look for approval internally rather than from others. Even though this mentality is spreading slowly, there is a significant change.
The shift among men towards the idea of success having a broader definition is worth noting. Now men are more inclined toward personal satisfaction than community status and approval. They are looking inwards and going away from external validation. However, this is not always acceptable to some stakeholders in society.
Weak Men And Control
The control of men has been the bedrock of the progress of modern society. The carrot and stick policy kept the men working towards the so-called common good. Now, men are taking care of their mental and emotional needs, which could see them less available for the wants of other members of society.
There is no need to control others if you feel secure in your space. But there are still too many with something to lose.
The Enigma Of Modern Men
Modern men are an enigma. They are also rising against patriarchy and the control of “weak men.” Modern men are getting in touch with the current reality and demanding their mental peace and well-being.
It has put them at crossroads with some agendas and reveals new aspects of their character. Modern men are, sooner than later, becoming aware of their sensitive sides and emotions. It is beneficial for women and children, as well as for other men too.
The challenge remains how will the “weak men” who prosper in controlling strong men will react to this new change.
Harsh is the founder of menPsyche. He enjoys using his extensive research and writing skills to communicate ideas and concepts, with the aim to improve people’s lives.
Harsh trained as a Communication Engineer and published a MSc (Research) thesis, as well as worked in a variety of marketing and consultancy roles.