Have you ever met a girl, become confused and be left pondering the question – “Does she like me or just being nice?”
Maybe it’s just the old ‘friends zone’ again? It can be hard for us guys to tell sometimes.
The signs can be subtle.
You have a great conversation, and then one day, she ghosts you.
Or perhaps you sense things are off and going south, yet she seemed to ask a lot of questions on the last date.
For those times when you are unsure if she’s into you, we have outlined some scenarios and behaviours below that may make signs and signals for a potential new relationship easier to understand.
1. Fakes Interest In Your Hobbies
We’re not saying she isn’t into your spider collection or go-karts.
It’s just her interest in your hobbies may be saying more about her feelings for you than the hobby.
It’s not a big secret that some men and women are interested in different things. After all, our brains are hard-wired differently, not to mention our social conditioning and individual variations.
Of course, anyone can be into anything, but if she seems to be really into something that no one else you have met seems to be – she may like you a lot!
2. Hints at Attractive Qualities She Admires in You
This one may be subtle or obvious and could be a great sign she secretly likes you.
Notice the comments she makes about others.
It could be something like, “I really like guys with short hair.” And you guessed it – if you have short hair, that could be her way of letting you know she likes you.
She might also mention something she knows you have achieved or been involved with that she respects.
Listen for signs in your next conversation and see if you can pick up the hidden message.
3. Gives You Self-Improvement Advice
If the woman you are talking to tries to suggest a helpful life tip or piece of advice, she might secretly like you.
Of course, she may do this with everyone, so you have to take time to see whether it’s her nature or if she is genuinely trying to help just you.
People won’t necessarily go out of their way to think about you unless there is some attachment or interest in the first place. It could be a sign of her interest in you.
4. Attempts to Understand Your Best Friend
A not-so-secret way to tell if she likes you is if she tries to be friends with your best friend.
Some guys might get this confused and think she’s actually interested in your best friend!
That’s why listening and observing is so essential. You might have to combine several signs and signals to understand the complete picture. Also, see- a guy’s guide to communication.
5. Acts a little ‘Damsel in Distress’ – Deliberate Incompetence
Sometimes, people do not realise that they are acting a certain way.
Such might be the case with deliberate incompetence.
The girl you like may not be aware she is behaving a certain way. Still, occasionally, if she likes you, she may underplay her knowledge to get you to talk more or spend more time with you.
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We are not judging whether this behaviour is healthy, but it could be one of the signs she secretly likes you. Also read- 3 Boundaries In Relationships To Set When Dating After A Breakup Or Divorce
6. Asks for Your Opinion on Style and Life Advice
Another secret way a girl may indicate she likes you is by asking for your opinion.
Like the point above, she may already know the answer and just wants to see what you think and whether it aligns with her.
Or perhaps she really does want your input and thinks highly enough about you to seek your help and wisdom.
7. Talks about People and Stories that Resemble You Both
If the topic of conversation appears to shift to a story or couple, she may be using the story to create an imaginary scenario for you to contemplate.
It could be a neutral conversation, but sometimes you may notice a complimentary observation about a couple she knows or a couple travel stories she remembers when in your presence.
It’s subtle but could be a sign that she likes you.
8. Shares Movie Suggestions to Show She ‘Gets You’
This one is not very secretive or subtle.
Movies are a great way to understand a person and how they think and what they like.
Discussing films, actors, concepts, etc., can be a way to show someone you are just like them, and it displays your take on life.
If she likes your taste in movie genres or your favourite actors or directors, it’s a potentially good sign that she likes your personality and character.
9. Recommends Music that Conveys her Feelings and Opinions
Similar to movies, music can say a lot without saying a lot!
Lyrics can reflect her views, as well as pass on hidden messages to you (“Cause all of me loves all of you“).
Music taste is, again, not a deal breaker, but it’s a possible way that someone might try to show you how they feel about you.
It’s an emotional way to connect as well as an intellectual sign that suggests there is something ‘there’ between you.
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10. Remembers Every Detail About You
It’s your sister’s birthday tomorrow. And you prefer dark T-shirts to light colours.
Ahh, yep, she was listening – and remembers!
Her forensic-level memory about your conversations is a strong sign she likes you.
If she’s not that interested, she is possibly less likely to care what food you like, where you went on your first solo trip or what sport your father won a trophy for in College.
11. Suggest Couple-Only Activities
Another secret sign she’s interested in you is that she suggests or hints at activities only for couples (and not your pesky friend group).
A special dinner, picnic, or weekend away – okay, it’s not really that subtle.
But it could be that she steers the group date or casual getaway ideas towards more ‘romantic’ suggestions.
If she isn’t that keen on you, she might accidentally prefer to meet you at the bowling alley, where everyone has agreed to meet.
She might still be into you, though – you have to assess multiple signs, not just one.
12. Ask her Friends to Verify You
This one is not necessarily every guy’s idea of fun – having the friends circle interrogate you.
It may be more subtle, though – they may be silent observers or casual group date companions.
They won’t interfere, but they are definitely checking you out to see if you match up to the standards of their good friend.
Friends’ opinions are a sign she likes you. She would generally not ask their opinion about someone she doesn’t like.
And don’t worry about their assessment – if they don’t like you, it may not matter much if she really does!
13. Becomes A Little Territorial
This last sign may seem a little harsh – anyone can become territorial and insecure when meeting someone they like.
But if you notice her wanting to spend time with you alone, or she appears to pretend to be ‘cool’ with your ex, it’s possible she likes you.
Like earlier, this is not a judgement about whether this behaviour is good or bad – but if you notice it, it may indicate she wants to be with you.
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Conclusion
So, “How do I know if a girl likes me?”
Well, it goes without saying that your listening and observation skills will be required when talking to anyone.
Secret signs someone likes you are just that – hidden and subtle.
No single behaviour will necessarily answer “Does she like me or just being nice?”. It may be a case of watching and listening over several conversations and in different settings.
We know it is not always easy to figure this stuff out, but at least you now have a few hints and tips to see whether she really likes you – or it’s a friend zone situation!
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Harsh is the founder of menPsyche. He enjoys using his extensive research and writing skills to communicate ideas and concepts, with the aim to improve people’s lives.
Harsh trained as a Communication Engineer and published a MSc (Research) thesis, as well as worked in a variety of marketing and consultancy roles.
